The Devil’s in the Details


There’s a reason that I’ve been focusing on the changes that have taken place in my life – I believe they are changes that one can fully expect when they lose the kind of weight I have and am working toward. That means you take any person who is near my height and over 500 pounds, I can point out to you many of the difficulties that he’s going through, difficulties that make his days very long ones, never ending, it seems. And I can point out the changes that he will experience over time.

 

These are important; if I could have met someone that had gone through what I had, I would have had a lot more hope!

 

One of the biggest changes I’ve faced is in the details. That might require a bit of explanation – you see, there’s one thing that really brings someone of morbid obesity down, and that is the details. I don’t mean the details in the meaning of the word “morbid”, I mean the details of the day. Every day you deal with details. You wake up and there’s things to do to prepare for your day. You get up, tidy up, get your clothes ready, make the bed, go out of the room and get ready for some breakfast.

You might not even realize you’ve done all this. It’s just your morning routine. Or is it? Did I mentioned visitng the “necessary” and brushing your teeth, among other things? What about getting the kids up? Imagine, for a moment, writing in a notebook, you are making a list over EVERYTHING you do within the first 20 minutes of getting out of bed. How long is that list? If you don’t think it’s that long, give it me to and let me point out a few things you missed. I bet I can double the size of your list.

 

And there’s details at breakfast too! First you have to get the dishes and the silverware. If you get one of these, but forget another, that’s something you’ll have to come back for. If you carry so much weight on your body that most of your activity in the kitchen is done from a chair (sitting), you’ll have to get up every time you forget something. Every time you get up, that’s exercise, and you only have so much energy for exercise. I know that my short term memory was crap, worse than it is now, so there were a lot of interruptions to fix things I’d forgotten.

Once you’ve made your food and have it ready to eat, you can eat, but there are still details. No one’s going to be pleased if you just dump your dishes in the sink and leave them there, or worse, abandon them on the counter! Let’s not forget the stress you will endure as someone rips you a new one. Someone that really would rather not have to deal with you anyway. And if you live alone, this type of behavior won’t bode well for you. It is not a healthy living situation.

 

The day of a person going through morbid obesity, who is multiple hundreds of pounds overweight is going to be loaded with details like this. And there will likely be someone, if you live with anyone (likely even if you aren’t), who will be reminding you of all kinds of other things you have to do, not to mention things you forgot to do along your way, things you’ve left out, maybe some laundry that wasn’t completely finished. And it’s always in some other part of the house – traveling. Just wearing yourself out all day long.

 

If you’ve not been there, then you may not get it. This may sound like incessant whining to you – “Oh, all day long, just never ends, waaaaahhhh!” I don’t know that there’s a good way to imagine what it’s like, either. Could you imagine strapping 300 or 400 pounds worth of sandbags to your body and trying to carry on with your day? That’s the best description I can really give.

 

But if you’ve been there, or you are there, then I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. And you’ve probably been there, in that place, pulling your hair out, thinking the worst of the people around you because they won’t f-ing leave you alone! Every time you turn around there’s someone bothering you about something else that needs to be done! And now you’ve got to get your ass up and go get that done too! Hell, half of these things aren’t even your problem, YOU’VE got things to do as well, you know!

 

Then, at the same time as they are wearing you out, they are bitching about what kind of shape you’re in, what a shame it is that you disrespect your body like that, etc… They can go on forever sometimes.

 

So, my point in dragging all this out? It gets better. These are problems I just don’t deal with anymore. It’s not like at some point I just said “NO!” and quit dealing with it. The details became minor details. It’s not such a chore anymore to do every little thing. It isn’t a big deal to go up two floors to take care of some problem. It used to be that just the stairs would wipe me out, and I’d need to rest for a minute before I even got around to what I went up there to do.

It also doesn’t hurt that the people I live with have seen the changes I’ve gone through as well. They’ve seen my day improve greatly. From my perspective, it feels like there’s just less to do, but I’m doing the same amount. Things that I used to actually have to think about and do, I don’t have to think about so much anymore. Things that took a lot of effort before take none now! And the people I live with… I don’t know, I guess they see that I wasn’t just a lazy bastard all those years, that I actually COULDN’T do what they expected or tried to expect of me.

 

That alone feels sort of vindicating.

 

Now I look forward to doing chores because most of them make for good exercise. If one of the details isn’t good exercise, it’s still not a big deal, that just means it’s easier than most of the chores, and I’ll be done with it sooner.

 

Now that the details aren’t such a big part of my day, they don’t stress me out as much anymore.

 

What’s more, I find that I’m more capable of doing things that I need to get done. There was a time that I might be asked to do something and it just WOULD NOT get done. I remember a few years ago I worked out a deal with my folks. I would go through all the potted pine trees they had on the property, weed out the dead ones and plant the living ones.

 

I got a good amount of the living ones planted. Just going through the dead ones and weeding out the pots took longer than I could have imagined. I took everything back to the back of the property for planting. A year later I found the shovel and a bunch of pots at the rear of the property. I’d apparently given up. I don’t even remember. I’d tried to just put in as much work each day as I could and make the job stretch out, but every day I had to out and deal with that I had to put a lot of energy into it and that took away from what else I could get done throughout the day. And if I wasn’t getting enough done to satisfy those around me, I had to deal with that too. I can’t even imagine how many days I must have pulled up to that spot in the truck, parked, and just sat there looking at the project, not coming up with the energy to get up and do it, dreading the rest of the day to come.

 

I’m sure there were days like that at the end, I’m sure I wore myself out over it, and each day I’d think “I’ll come back tomorrow and finish it then.” One of those tomorrows, I must have managed to forget about it.

 

But over the past few summers, I’ve seen growth in what I’m capable of. I’ve seen myself going from the guy that looks helplessly on the tasks he is supposed to perform and cultivate self-loathing, to the person that could actually do a few things before that hopelessness took over, and through gradual improvement, I see myself now. I can still overdo it at this stage of the game. I’ve found myself just sitting there, staring at tasks I have to do, but now I realize, I’m doing too much, need to redefine how I’m going to do it and slow this down. I might even need to consider that this job is too big for me to do alone right now.

 

I imagine that next summer, I will yet again be amazed at what I’m capable of, and hope that I’ll be reporting you again how much my abilities have improved in just a year… and another hundred pounds, I hope!

Current Events


Another change that I’ve been working on putting into words – I haven’t been in a good fight in a long time (technically, that hasn’t changed). When you weigh over 500 pounds, people tend not to want to find out if you can fight. They may talk a bunch of trash, to see if you’ll back down from them, but that’s about as far as it will go. For the first time in the past few years, I found someone recently that decided to try his luck, if you can call it that.

I watched him beating up his girlfriend, and when I got involved, someone hit me in the back of the head, I passed out, and he did his best to kill me by punching me and hitting me with some unknown object (I’m told by my best friend, Mark, who got up in the middle of the night and came out to the Emergency Room for me, that the Doctors’ best guess was that it was a metal baseball bat or something very much like it) in the face as hard as he could. Yes, I was unconscious (which is why I say that technically I haven’t been in a fight, just a maiming) and can only really tell you what happened courtesy of the police ad rescue squad that were called to the scene (which I only vaguely remember) and the ER doctors.

Obviously, I’m here to write this, so my assailant didn’t do a very good job of killing me, but he’ll have plenty of time to think about that after his sentencing. I will give him this much credit, he did manage to break my nose (which was a first!) and from late Wednesday night to sometime Sunday my eyes were swollen shut.

Some of my friends are a little concerned and even upset because I have no real desire for revenge against this individual. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t want me to take said action against him, they just can’t believe I don’t feel that way, and assume I’m either lying (and secretly planning something) or that there must be something wrong to me.

I’ve done some thinking about that. I can’t say exactly why I have no such inclination – it doesn’t hurt that he’s getting locked up, but then I also have to trust the legal system to do their job, and they have a hard job.

I think it has something to do with a satisfaction that I’ve gotten out of this – another change. I’m not referring to the fact that someone actually had the cajones (if you can call them that, given his manner of attack) to take me on; instead I’m referring to a fear that has finally passed me by – I’ve always been afraid to get hit in the face. When I learned martial arts as a child, my main goal was to not get hit in the face. I’ll take punches and kicks anywhere else, but I hated getting hit in the face and it scared the hell out of me.

And because of the way I had set up my self-defense, I almost never did get hit in the face. But Wednesday, there was nothing I could do to stop it. He gave me everything he had, and a few things he didn’t, and I just had to take it. But I did take it. I took the beating, got my nose broke, and frankly, I’m fine.

Yes, my face is quite puffy, the left side more than the right (that’s my left, not yours), but it doesn’t really hurt, and the sensation is only slightly bothersome. I’m not looking to go a few more rounds, at least not until the swelling goes down, but I feel far less worried about getting punched in the face.

I’m looking forward to sparring in the future and I intend to request a few good hits in the face each round, just to keep myself used to it.

And in the last place, this represents a BIG change – this fear that has plagued me my entire life is now lifted. You know, it almost sounds like fighting actually SOLVED something for once!

The Soft Re-Opening


I can’t say exactly what I’ve been waiting for. There’s plenty to update… plenty of ideas to write about. I think that’s why I stopped keeping this blog up, I had lost some weight but factors kept getting in the way, a lot of which had to with physical limitations. Those still exist, and are still disabling, but there has been a lot of improvement.

This first new blog post will be in the form of updates. There’s a lot to tell, but I’d like to get it all out first, in a series, then maybe later I’ll expound. Also, see the bottom for a great recipe!

Update #1 – I believe I’d mentioned that I was fighting to receive disability. I won. Rather, the state appointed lawyer won. A few months ago I received the bulk of my back benefits. This has made things far simpler. There’s still a lot that I have to take care of, and I’m laughably far from financially solvent, but at least there’s a little more stability.

Update #2 – My diet has improved drastically. I’ll go in to the past at another time, but currently my problem seems to be not eating enough, as opposed to eating too much. Also, I’m eating the right kinds of foods. I’m sure I make mistakes here and there, but they’re far more minor than they used to be. From here on in, it might be smooth sailing as far as diet goes, a few tweaks here and there. I still have to understand calories better, because I’m still not counting them. That’s probably my biggest obstacle right now.

Update #3 – I have finally begun a real exercise program. I guess I finally determined that the problem in my exercise equation was me. A lot of times, the best option for simplifying your problems is to remove yourself from the equation. Here I saw that I had no idea what a good exercise program was, and that I’m not very good at holding myself accountable when it comes to exercise. Furthermore, it’s hard to be accountable to Eeks, particularly in this area, because we’ve never met.

I took a good chunk of the money I received from disability and purchased a two-year membership at Anytime Fitness. It’s actually a three-year membership, because they give you an extra year for free, when you pay in full. I also signed up to work with a personal trainer once a week, who helps me out more than that, when I’m working out while he’s there. So whether I work out during the week or not, I have to see this guy, once every week. Maybe I could skip a week, sure. But the next week, then what? I’ve already paid for the gym membership. I’m going to have to face the music.

Being accountable to someone else allows me to put more focus on what it is I’m supposed to be doing. Again, I’ll save the details for later, but I will say now that my abilities have improved already, including something I never thought possible – I kind of enjoy using a treadmill!

Update #4 (finally): My weight. When I stopped writing I was around 440 lbs, I think. It went up, I noticed (after not having used the scale for a week or so, I imagine), to a little over 470. I tightened up on what I was eating and looked for opportunities to exercise, even if just stretching my legs. If anyone invited me to a gym or to walk somewhere, and I was up to the task, I went.

My weight went back down to 440. From there I relaxed the eating slightly, but kept the activity up as best I could. Fall came and I got rather busy. It didn’t hurt matters that my disability money had come in and I could actually enjoy my yearly trip to Ocean City, among other things. I was still fairly active, but I really relaxed on my eating.

This time my weight didn’t balloon so high though. I got back up to around 460, and used a notebook I had picked up along with a lot of organizational materials I bought with the disability money. It’s a simple notebook, one of those black and white (marble design) numbers from mead. 100 double-sided sheets of blue lined paper with the red margin. It has my name on the front (no, my name’s not Mead), along with the date I started using it.

Inside I keep a record of what I eat on one side of the sheet, and a log of any exercise I did on the other sheet. I started working out at the gym, 3 days a week. Since then I’ve increased it to 4 days. My weight not only dropped back down to 440, it’s been dropping off and on ever since. It was one of the last days of October when I purchased my membership. A few days later I started working with Mike.

As of this morning the scale read 416 pounds. That’s not only 144 lbs in total, that’s also 24 pounds in 5 weeks! And we’re still going. Today marks the end of my two-day break from the gym. The muscles in my legs are nagging at me to get back on it. Shame for them, they won’t get worked until Tuesday, except for some cardio between now and then. I really want to let them mend some.

I’ve had a little trouble the past few weeks with overdoing things. We’ll cover that soon, too. Expect another post sometime around Wednesday (I hope) going into detail with at least one of these updates! I hope to post on all my may days off from the gym (Sat, Sun and Wed).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

RECIPE!

So, here’s a new feature I want to introduce. We’ll bring back the other features shortly, but for now I’m going with this.

Crunchy Salmon Wraps

I don’t know how many this feeds, I don’t have measurements for you either.

We start with two tortillas. Any kind that’s flour based will do. Multi-grain are better. You want to avoid corn.

I used a spinach tortilla and a sun-dried tomato tortilla – tasty and colorful!

On the night previous we made roasted salmon for dinner. We took filets of salmon and present thickly cut chunks of garlic into the salmon. There were some curry seasonings, I think, and each filet was wrapped in foiled, then thrown in the oven.

It came out wonderful and I used one leftover filet for this recipe.

I first heated the tortillas – my favorite way to do this is to turn on the stove top range. This will work best with a gas or electric range. Either the coils or the fire warms and slightly cooks the tortilla (as long as you keep on top of it) it takes a little skill and I’m not sure I’ve heated a tortilla any other way in quite a few years.

After that, I took some humus with “Tuscan herbs”, which equates out to some reddish/greenish mess in the center of the humus. It’s a tasty mess, though. I slathered the humus onto the warm tortillas and followed that with was freshly washed raw kale and romaine lettuce.

I’m going to be writing about kale pretty soon here. I’ve decided to give it a try and like it. Everything I’ve read so far seems to sing its praises, so I’ll be writing about it soon enough.

I also threw in a few raw string beans, for extra crunch, before breaking up the salmon filet and divvying it up between the two wraps.

That’s really all it took. One average sized filet of salmon with plenty of garlic pressed into the side (or however you like it), however much raw kale and romaine lettuce you like, a reasonable amount of humus and two tortillas. Plenty of protein, nutrients and solid calories, and it’s relatively easy to make.

Have fun!

A Walk on the Beach


Parvin Lake

Taken from just off the beach at Parvin State Park

Good evening!

I hope everyone has been enjoying a peaceful weekend. I also hope that those who have not been so lucky, like a close family friend of mine, will find comfort soon.

Last night was a loooong night. I waited up for a family member to come home from the hospital, where the friend I mentioned had to be taken. She was admitted and said family member did not return home until around 6 in the morning. I kept myself up watching old television episodes on Netflix, but that will only keep one awake so long, and eventually will bring one to dullness at which point sleep can only be expected to follow.

Shortly after the arrival, I was needed to help tidy some things up because we had someone coming to the house this morning – a mere two hours after we finished cleaning. Because of this, I didn’t get up until the early afternoon (not that I get up much earlier, most days), and had a number of things to attend to.

Maybe one of the best of the pictures I took. I love the different hues of blues.

In other words, I didn’t get a morning exercise in today, though I did manage to get some breakfast down. Instead, I opted to head to Parvin State Park, a mile or so from my house (I drove there), for a walk. I went prepared, with a cooler jug of ice water and an apple pre-sliced and kept in a small freezer bag.

 

 

 

 

 

I parked in the furthest area from the entrance to the park – to give me a decent warmup and cooldown walk – and got started. I did a little over twenty minutes and paused occasionally to take the photos you see here. The park closes at dusk, so I wasn’t about to get a second walk in, even if I wanted one. Still, the time of day that I was there allowed for some nice photos.

An old wooden jetty

It’s funny, I heard a number of people talking today about how “crappy” it was outside. True, the sun was hiding behind some fairly gray clouds, most of the day. Still, the temperature during the time that I was awake was rather mild, with little enough wind that I don’t even recall noticing it.

Seriously - Does this look like a "crappy day" to you?

I mentioned before, using the Pandora app on my phone, and the station that I listened to as I walked the other night – Weird Al Yankovic. That might seem like an odd choice, but honestly, it may be the best thing I’ve done for my exercise! If laughter is the best medicine, it may make for the best workout music, as well! I may test that out soon by listening to some old George Carlin tracks as I work out.

It almost looks as if these trees have blue and white leaves.

Well, that’s about all for now. I’m waiting to hear back about getting a blessing for my friend in the hospital, and if that happens tonight, I need to be ready to head out. Speaking of that friend, we were considering getting her a TV card, so that she has some entertainment while she’s stuck there. These cards allow you to watch the tiny televisions they have in the rooms, and cost 5 dollars a day. 5 DOLLARS A DAY??? Are they crazy? We had gotten such a card for my father, when he was in the same hospital recently, and I remember what their channel offerings were – between slim and none. How ridiculous.

On the other hand, they offer wi-fi for free (shhhh….), so we brought her tablet to her and let her use my sister’s Netflix account. Between that, YouTube, and other sites, she can watch pretty much anything she likes and not have to pay a dime. Seriously, at this point, I don’t know why anyone buys those cards anymore.

Well, have a good night (or whatever it is, whenever you’re reading this) and I should be back tomorrow, with all the bells and whistles!

Morning Improvement


I’m feeling pretty decent today. I got up, did my mantra, had some coffee, and got to the business of exercising. After that I had some breakfast, and treated myself to a little Rita’s Water Ice (mmm… Mango!) afterward. On the way home from Rita’s I was thinking about how to best improve my time management.

I’ve successfully come up with a very basic and easy to use daily schedule – it’s basically a blank page with lines on it. I write in what I intend to do, or what I’ve done during the day. I have more ambitions for it, but I need to go slow and get used to it. I tried scheduling a whole bunch of stuff for a few days, and what I found was that I’m just not ready for all that. I need to spend some time, maybe a few weeks, just getting used to using the agenda on a daily basis – recording what I’ve done, more than scheduling what I want to do, and prioritizing the things that I need to do.

Still, doing so is a little frustrating because I’m not getting nearly as much done with my days as I’d like. I decided that if I’m to improve my days, I need to start with the morning. Mine starts around 11AM, lately. That’s mostly because I get to bed late. I’d probably be more interested in going to bed earlier if I got more accomplished during the day – I’d be too tired to stay up late! But before I can walk…

So, instead of worrying about what time I get up, I’m going to focus on the things that must be done EVERY MORNING, before anything else gets done (visiting the restroom is a reasonable exception). The things I have come up with, in order:

  1. Reading my mantra out loud

  2. Coffee with 1 food item

  3. Get workout music ready

  4. Warmup, exercise, cooldown

  5. Shower

One problem I currently have in trying to get these things done is the computer. Each morning, I wake up with the intention of getting up and working out, but I need to set up my music, to help me get going. That’s on my computer, because I’ve never had much use for an mp3 player. I have one, somewhere. If it still works… I don’t know. So I have to open my laptop, and when I do that, I, inevitably, get distracted. After all, my curiosity demands satisfaction – any new e-mail I should know about? What about Facebook? Oh, look – today’s blogs are in my e-mail, I could take a minute to go through them. Ooh, and there’s some really good article finds on Facebook, let me take a look at them.

Suddenly, I realize I’ve been up for an hour and a half and haven’t even read my mantra – which is also on my laptop.

Remedy – I have a droid. While my exercise playlist is on iTunes, and apparently, you can’t get iTunes on a Droid, all of my iTunes songs (yes, all of them) have been converted to a non-protected format – meaning I can put them on any device I damm well please. And I can print out the mantra and put it in a page protector. That means I don’t need to open that laptop until I’m finished with the above list. To help me control that, I’m going to try to remember to shut the laptop down completely at night.

I’m making “Morning Improvement” an immediate goal, so I’ll let you know how it’s going.

On a separate note – I’m removing the food journal and exercise archive from the menu. The archive has outlived its usefulness. I’ve made my daily workouts a feature of the daily blog post. As long as I can meet the demand of a daily post, we don’t need separate documentation, and it’s been long enough since I created that feature.

As for the food journal, there’s no respectable reason for that – I simply don’t keep up with it. However, as I mentioned above, I am working on using my agenda every day – recording my meals and snacks will be a part of that. Once I get good at doing that, I hope to restore the food journal.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Introduction: I’m getting close to finishing Ben Franklin’s biography. It’s quite a thick book, and at some point I began to think that I’d never get close to the end of his life. Amazing to realize that it’s really only a collection of his highlights. In any case, I was reading recently about some of his famous chess matches. Much of his humor came out during these matches, indeed these games may have marked the best of his wit.

He played some notable games in France, while he worked as an American Ambassador trying to get more support from France to the American cause. All the while, Washington was leading men into battle, and losing more often than he won. Support from France was tricky, because, while they hated England, they believed in the unquestionable right of a king to rule. In supporting America, they felt as though they were condoning rebellion against a crown.

Franklin, ever the diplomat, did his best to quell these concerns, but occasionally let his guard down.

The Joke: So, Franklin’s playing a match against one of France’s elite ladies and he noticed that she has placed her king in check, which is against regulations. He should have informed her of her mistake and let her make another move, but Franklin liked to play loose with the rules sometimes. He then took the king, which got him this response – “We do not take kings!” He slyly retorted “We do, in America.”

TODAY’S WORKOUT

This morning’s workout was good. I haven’t really been timing them lately. I do my warmup (stretching and loosening up), then I do about 5 laps to kick off the workout. Since I’m in training for a 5k, I’ve upped that to ten laps. That’s inside the house. When I do laps up and down the driveway, I do less, because the driveway is longer than a full lap inside the house.

Yesterday, I just kept on walking, but today I cut it off at ten and got to doing my blocks and punches – 20 lower blocks in place with the legs spread apart and knees slightly bent, 20 punches, same way. Then I do walking lower blocks – I’ll have to make it a video, in case anyone doesn’t understand. Basically, I step forward and make the block. About ten of those in one direction, then ten punches walking the other direction. Another ten up and back, and I’m back to doing my blocks in place.

Then I do about 5 laps around the house, but this time, I do a normal walking lap, a lap of walking low blocks, another normal lap, a lap of walking punches, and finish with another normal lap. Today, I increased the action laps to double laps.That makes a total of 7 laps around.

I got as far as doing the upper blocks, and another set of laps around the house, followed by getting down on the floor and working on my core – it needs so much help. I can’t do leg lifts, I’m sure my hernia would have a field day with that, but I got pretty close to pedaling my feet while on my back. Felt pretty good, too!

The only problem is Buddha, our puppy (and mascot!) thinks I’m down there to play. I ignored her for a little while until my hand was covered in slobber. Time to get up!

I decided to go for my cooldown, but the dogs made things difficult. I’m not happy with today’s cooldown. I hate to take one over the other, but it seems that’s the way it’s going to have to go.

TODAY’S SPECIAL

It may seem like I just read the same blogs over and over and push their stuff here. Yeah, that’s kind of how it works, but I do add to the list of blogs I read as I have time. I’m working on a new one, now, and if I find her posts useful, or feel that they could be useful to you, they’ll start getting posted here as well! So keep checking, I’m sure you can find something valuable.

Foodimentary covers “National Water Day“, along with “An Overview of Drinking Water“.

SheBANGS gives a tip that’s often talked about and has some benefits in “… Lose Your Utensils

NK 24/7 shares 8 known carcinogens often found in the home. I wouldn’t suggest you eliminate these from your home, but it’s definitely something to think about.

SOME THINGS BEAUTIFUL

This photo, taken in Scotland, reminds me very much of the film “What Dreams May Come”, with Robin Williams.

Here’s another from… you guessed it, Photobotos, but it’s a little different. Check it out.

Flirt Your Way to Health


I had with the Doctor today. I told him about this blog (among other things, I really didn’t show up at his office just to tell him about this place), so I may get myself into a bit of trouble, if he decides to read this. After we’d finished up, he took my paperwork to the receptionist’s desk and I waited to be called on. The young lady that called me was a fine looker – built well, meaning that she looks like can beat you up one side and down the other, and also VERY attractive.

I noticed as she was going through my paperwork that her hands were bare – no jewelry. I stuck my nose in and asked “No ring?”, and after confirmation, queried further “How’d that happen?” Life, she told me. I thought for a second and told her “Let me drop another hundred pounds and we’ll see if we can’t do something about that.”

She made a comment about her own weight and I expressed my appreciation for her physical qualities which I already mentioned above. This got her co-workers giggling and she handed me a form to sign as I gave her my new insurance card to copy.

She told me to make sure all the information on the paper was correct before signing and I took a few seconds to check it over. Seeing that everything was fine I said “Yup. Looks good to me!” That brought more laughter from her office-mates and confusion from me. I looked up and realized that she was across the room, with her back to me, bent over the copy machine.

“Oh, I uh, I meant the form is fine!” More laughter ensued. She turned around, beet red and I decided to quit before I said something REALLY dumb. She said she’d be blushing all day now, and I couldn’t help commenting on how well it matches the red scrubs she was wearing.

We all had a few more giggles, she gave me my card and I gave her the paper I’d signed, and I have to tell you – I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks!

I know laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, but I think flirting might be a damm close second!

JOKE OF THE DAY

On the way home from the Doctor, today, I was still feeling good from the aforementioned flirting, and perhaps feeling a bit froggy. As I got within about 10 minutes from the house I saw a site that is common in the Spring and the Summer – a pickup truck with a crudely made sign advertising the owner’s wares – CRABS.

I guess I couldn’t help myself as I passed his spot – I yelled out my window “Hey! I’ve got crabs too!” Probably not the first time he’s heard that, but I thank the man for feigning amusement.

TODAY’S WORKOUT

Pretty short today. Got warmed up, then basically did lap around the inside of the house for 15-20 minutes. A cooldown walk outside followed. It was short but I had things to get to and frankly, I was pretty wore out. I figured I would get some more exercise in later – I need to be walking at least twice a day, for training – but I’ve been ridiculously sore all day, to the point where I must have looked a sight to anyone peeking in the exam room at the Doctor’s office, contorting myself as I was, to try to stretch out the pain surrounding my hip.

When I got home I mentioned it to my sister’s friend, Marcie, who pointed out what I should have known – the damm weather. Once again, precipitation is playing havoc on my joints and the surrounding area – my hip being chief among the complaining bodily components. I suppose it doesn’t help that I may have overdone the stretching a bit. Well, you reap what you sow. I’ll simply have to be more careful tomorrow and schedule a walk later in the day. If I have to run through my mantra again for that second walk, or adjust it for an afternoon/evening workout, then that’s just what I’ll have to do.

TODAY’S SPECIAL

1 Fat Girl Shrinking has to endure a major setback.

I don’t think I’ve shared anything from The Running Thriver before, but she’s pretty kick-ass in her determination to physically better ourselves. Although, we all need succumb to a little indulgence now and then.

NK24/7 Delivers again (or rather, delivered about 10 days ago… sorry I’m just getting around to putting it up) with an awesome article about those processed foods that we’ve all because accustomed to. Break the pattern!

By the way, whole, dry wheatberries are about as far from processed foods as you can get.

 

SOME THINGS BEAUTIFUL

I think this shot on Photobotos (who are supplying both images, yet again. I swear, I’ll find a new source to supplement the awe they provide us with soon) defines serenity. So calm and peaceful. Love it!

This was posted yesterday and I just knew I’d have to share it.

An Announcement and a Mantra


Last night I returned from a long weekend that started with a LOT of shit beer (I had the choice of Coors Light or Miller Light – I went with Coors.), and switched to REALLY shit wine when the beer ran out. After I spent a few hours sobering up, I headed to my friend Patricia’s house, where I stayed until Monday evening (last night). I would have posted something yesterday, but my computer and her wireless router were having difficulties and I couldn’t be bothered to worry about it.

Trish lives on 7 acres, so there’s plenty of room to move around. Plus she lives not far from a State Forest and a nice lake, with a long creek that shoots off from it. She also has some very nice animals, including pets and a little livestock. It’s a very peaceful setting with some laid-back people and intelligent offspring. I really enjoy spending time there, and love that I can still get some exercise in, even when I’m taking a few days off!

So, even though I did some exercise over the past few days, it really wasn’t up to my normal workout. On the other hand, I took so long to get back on the trolley, that I’ll have to work my way back up to the level I was working at. Also, I’m hoping to surpass, instead of staying there when I get there.

I have to, because I’M NOW IN TRAINING! More on that in a moment.

The mantra – yeah, I woke up and, like many mornings, just didn’t want to do this. I get a little disappointed with myself, because I know when I started doing this, those whiny, bitchy little voices had almost no control over me. They’d say “Oh, I’m tired” and I’d tell them “SHUT UP” (imagine a deep voice) and they would. Now they keep bitching, and more loudly. They’ve conspired with my muscles and joints, to remind me of just how much they’d prefer that I keep my ass right on the couch. What’s worse is that my inner drill sergeant doesn’t seem to be nearly as loud as the voices of those hippies telling me to take it easy. All this worries me, because, as I’ve said before, I have to keep this from being a chore, and now, when I’m waking up, it feels a LOT like a chore.

It also occurs to me that when I would wake up and look forward to working out, I wasn’t really working out. I was just stretching and warming up. I believed that’s all I was going to do, and I knew it would make me feel good, not just in the moment, but well into the day! And it would only take 10 minutes!

Now it takes a good 15 minutes, and is followed by a workout, and a cooldown. I remember that in those first days, I had no plans to exercise, but after a few days, I’d do some kind of exercise after the warmup anyway, just because I felt so damn good! And yet, the next day, I could still motivate myself easily into the warmup.

It seems that making the workout part of the routine is what is bringing me down. I have to decide what I can do about that. This morning, as I considered it, it occurred that there were only two real options -

  1. Keep on hacking at it, the way I have been (technically, do nothing) – yeah… and what do I expect from that? Will this trend of discontent subside? Ben Franklin taught us the definition of insanity – you’ve probably heard it before: Doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results (Paraphrased). I’m not interested in that.

  2. Give up – that’s what my body and mind are telling me to do, at least until I overcome them and get my warmup going.

  3. Change it up! That’s what has been working for me so far, so that’s probably the answer for me now. The only question is… what change?

So, instead of hopping up and starting my warmup… I delayed. I don’t like to do that, because far too often, if I put off my warmup, my workout is at risk of not getting accomplished that day. But today it was necessary. I needed a plan of change. I examined the issue at hand – I don’t want to exercise. I’d rather lay around for a while, like I used to, back when I ALWAYS felt shitty.

Well, that’s the other side of the issue, isn’t it? If I do what my body, or maybe, what my id is telling me to do, I have to deal with the consequences, and I have no intention of ever having to deal with those consequences again. I’d rather get rich, marry a gold-digger, get divorced, lose all my money, and die in abject poverty, than to go through all this crap again. At least I’ll die a healthy man.

I needed to examine my thoughts, either aloud or on paper. My handwriting is for crap and there were people around, so I typed up my thoughts and organized them a bit. What I came up with is my change – a mantra. Every morning, before I even get off the couch, I’m going to read this aloud, until it’s committed to memory, at which point I’ll recite it.

My Mantra

I’m tired and I’m bitchy and I DON’T want to exercise.

I’m sore and I’m sleepy and I just don’t want to!

But if I don’t exercise, I’ll continue to feel like shit,

and I won’t lose weight; I’ll end up gaining it back.

And if I just warm up, stretch and loosen up,

I’ll be awake, feel better, and I’ll WANT to exercise.

I just need a cup of coffee first.

And, of course, the next step is a nice “cuppa” (coffee). And next? You guessed it! A nap! Hahaha, after my cup, I ended up taking my setup (laptop – for music, quart jar of ice water, aluminum pitcher of ice water) outside and set it up in the bed of my truck. It’s so nice out these days, I need to take advantage of it.

So, I mentioned I’m in training. It’s true. Recently I linked to a post from SheBANGS’s blog last week; she’d been thinking of doing a mud run, but it turns out she can’t. Instead, she’s doing a 5k called “Run for Your Lives!”, which is a zombie themed race, complete with zombies chasing and obstacles to complete. The zombies attack you by taking a flag off of the flag belt you have to wear. If you lose all of your flags, you become a zombie when you finish the race.

I had been toying with the idea of taking part, as I’ve been toying with the idea of doing a mud run, or, at the very least, a 5k walk, for a while. Saturday, as I was preparing to leave for my night of imbibery, I got a call from my health coach, Dr. Eeks. She was catching up with me and in talking, I’d asked if she’d seen the link that talked about the “zombie run”. I told her about it, and she was seriously excited. I asked if she wanted to enter it with me. SUPER excited! I looked up the locations and found that there’s one in Baltimore, MD in October. We are now committed to this. Which means that at the VERY least, I have to be able to walk 3.1(ish) miles. This is not my new goal. I believe that in order to be able to do something well, you have to TRAIN to do more than that.

For example – consider the actors in a one-night performance. Do they rehearse once? Do they rehearse once a day? No – their rehearsals tend to last longer than the hour or so that the actual play will. In truth, if they want to be good, they rehearse all day long, until they are ready to do it once, correctly.

So, I believe I have to work myself up to at LEAST 5 miles. My goal is to able to walk the 5k without killing myself (figuratively speaking). If it turns out I can run or even jog, great, I’ll do that. But that’s not the goal. Anything over the goal is bonus. I don’t even care if I end the race as a human or a zombie. I don’t even care if I get through the obstacles or not. This is my starting point. And it’s going to be a fun one!

So, for the next few months or so, you may get a little sick of hearing about this damn 5k, but if you’re up for it, and don’t mind traveling to MD, you can join Dr. Eeks and I. I’m already talking to one person who says he’s interested in taking part, and is determined to be ready by October. Anyone else that wants in is welcome. Maybe we can even qualify for a nice hotel discount!

TODAY’S WORKOUT

Not much to say about today’s workout. I did it. Not sure how long I went, probably not as long as before though. I will say this, I did it all outside! It was kind of neat – my folks have a nice long driveway that widens up by the house. That allowed me to do my walking laps (that I usually do around the inside of the house) up and down the long path. My “in place” exercises were done next to the truck (for balance, when needed) and the walking exercises were done back and forth across the wide portion, by the house.

No music today – I listened, but didn’t make note of what the songs were.

TODAY’S SPECIALS

A favorite blog of mine, Natural Knowledge 24/7, wrote a great blog post about exercises that are effective at building your energy.

Another blog I regularly read, by SheBANGS, celebrates some wonderful thinning around her waist! Congratulate this woman, please!

I rarely share a link from The Better Man Project, but that doesn’t mean I don’t read it. It can be very inspirational, but he’s on a far different level than I am. However, I think this post, about not giving up, and using your low points to your advantage, can be of great use to our readers. Enjoy.

SOME THINGS BEAUTIFUL

Both of our beautiful images come from Photobotos today. I need to get working on new image sources, or they’ll all be coming from Photobotos (not that this would be so terrible).

All that’s missing among these horses is the cherry tree.

This photo makes me think of all kinds of wonderful, calming things.

New weight!


My mother apparently read a recent blog post here, because she asked me last night “Are you sure you’ve gained weight?” I wasn’t sure what she meant at first. Yes, my last weigh-in was higher than the one where I’d gotten down to 450, by about 7 pounds, I think, but that’s not much of a change. As long as I don’t put on more than ten pounds from my lowest recent reading, I’m not going to sweat it. Anyway, her point was that it didn’t look like I’d put on 7 pounds, it looked more like I was still losing weight.

I pointed out that it’s very likely that as I’m burning fat, I’m also building muscle, which weighs more than fat (Dr. Eeks actually put up a nice visual in which a “to scale” model of a 5 pound lump of fat was displayed next to a likewise to scale model of 5 pounds of muscle. The fat is nearly twice the size of the muscle. That means that if I burn fat and build muscle, and the quantities of both are equal (let’s say 10 pounds)  the weight won’t change, but as I continue to do so, my size will still change. That’s why, although the scale is the first thing people turn to when trying to lose weight, the numbers aren’t all that important.

I’ve known people that lost weight, but plateaued at some point, got frustrated and quit working out, on top of going back to eating whatever they damn well pleased. For starters – and this will most likely offend some – that’s a good sign that the person wasn’t really doing what they needed to do in the first place. Particularly I’m talking about the food. I basically eat whatever I damn well please (though I need to get better at logging it), but have strove toward a lifestyle change in my diet. I’ve changed what I enjoy. I’ve experimented with healthier foods and have found new things that I like – things which, frankly, are just as satisfying (and in many cases more so) than the crap I used to eat on a normal basis. In fact, even when it’s only “just as satisfying”, it’s still a little more, because I don’t have to feel guilty about what I’m eating.

For example, “what I damn well please” means a lot of protein, lots of raw celery and carrots (at least two of each a day, usually more like 4 or 6 of each a day – they’re kind of a staple of my diet now), frequent fruits, healthy dairy (low-fat, but not fat-free, and good dairy sources, like cottage cheese and Fage’s Greek yogurt) and certain grains. That’s something called a balanced diet, folks, and I didn’t get there overnight. It takes time and determination. I’ll even freely admit that I had a head start when I began working with Eeks this summer, because I’ve been slowly working at changing my diet for years now. I’ve mentioned some of that before, I’m sure – getting myself off of regular soda, to taking myself almost completely off of diet soda as well, opting for seltzer water instead, are just a few very effective examples.

I mentioned the grains category last, partly because that has seen some evolution in my life recently. I’ve discovered a love for wheatberries. Particularly, the raw kind. I don’t even bother soaking them. I’ve asked Eeks if there’s anything I should be concerned about and so far, looks good. Lord, though, they do make you gassy! I’ve also heard they can bind you up in the bowels department… I’ll go so far as to say that not only is has that not been the case with me, but fairly opposite. I’m pleased with the results in that category. After doing a little research, that little tidbit, along with one which indicates that it could cause some kind of dental issue, I’m not finding anything wrong with eating dry, raw wheatberries. So far, the only people that have suggested there are problems with such a practice are those that don’t engage in it, the ones that do swear by it! I’m even going to try my hand at sprouting.

Oh, did I forget something? Well, I had put what my Mom had said out of my mind, until this morning, in the middle of my warmup… on an impulse, I decided to run upstairs and check my weight. Looks like Mom was right as usual – 447! Yes, I know, the way I count my weight, that isn’t much – just a drop of three pounds from my last lowest weigh-in. Still, it’s nice when you think you weigh one number to find out you’re ten pounds lighter than that.

Well, I have a few chores to get to before tonight’s debauchery. There will be lots of liquid carbs to burn off tomorrow, but that’s just fine – I’ll be spending the night at a friend’s house, one who has a lot of property – plenty of room to move around! Erin go bragh!

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!


Apparently, there’s some law that says all bloggers must blog about certain days when they are in the current, prank on April Fools (Perhaps the Beer and Ice Cream Diet will ride again!), and blah, blah, blah (Save the Life of My Child!). Well, because I’m a wordy bastard, I will say this much about today:

“Ides” is an early label that signifies division – equal division, so that there are two halves.

Months were once built around phases of the moon, and a full moon was called the ides, because the full moon is in the middle of the lunar cycle.

In the Roman culture, two monthly days were called Ides – the 15th of some months, and the 13th of some months – interesting that one of the few days more ominous than today is Friday the 13th!

Why was the Ides so ominous? Why were there such superstitions about the day? Because it was based on the day of the full moon – when everyone goes nuts.

One probably was more likely to get murdered during a full moon than any other time, just because of the effect a full moon has on people in general (notice that the word “lunatic” is rooted in the word “lunar” – for moon).

TODAY’S WORKOUT

Today’s workout was just a stretch and warmup, with a small amount of exercise to follow. In the past week, I’ve had to deal with some issues and working out has been put on the back burner. I’ve already mentioned the reasons in the preceding blog posts (of which there were very few over the past week and a half) so I’ll spare you a repetition of the excuses. This blog is, after all, about few things – losing weight being chief among them; excuses – just the opposite.

WEEKLY WEIGH-IN

Just hopped on the scale. I’m maintaining at 456.6 lbs. Since the “shit hit the fan” (so to speak) last week, I’ve essentially put 7 pounds back on. Unimportant. The important thing is that despite the issues I had to deal with, I still ate healthy, and was as active as I could be under the circumstances. Because of that, I’m in a far better position to hop back on than I could be.

I know a lot of people hate plateaus. Not me, in fact, because of the negativity associated with the label, you generally won’t see that word used much by me. You’re welcome to use any word you like, of course, but I think the label “maintain” allows one to appreciate and respect what a plateau is and should be – welcome and healthy, as opposed to what most people view it as – not a plateau at all, but simply more of an uphill battle.

Stay tuned in the near future for a blog post about plateaus!

TODAY’S SPECIAL

Let me tell you – I have a LOT to choose from today, and really, for the next week or so. I’ll try to keep it down to three daily, and I’ll make sure at least one of them is from the current day.

In the ongoing story of SheBANGS’s weight loss, we are treated to a brief tale of motivation and discussion of two different types of events that make running fun! One includes zombies!

Natural Knowledge 24/7 shares the top ten cancer risk foods.

Also from SheBANGS come a list that ALL OF YOU SHOULD LOOK AT! This is a great reference tool for ANYONE trying to lose weight!

SOME THINGS BEAUTIFUL

The same problem I had with the specials today I also have with today’s image. So, for the next few days or so, we’ll be putting up at least 2 different images. Hey, if I get some positive feedback about it, I may even consider keeping it that way.

I’ve been wanting to put this one up since the blog posts feel by the wayside, so I’ve been saving it for my return. Take a good look, it’s quite impressive. Especially the fish.

And now, something for our mascot, Buddha!

Not my best day


I don’t have much to share with you today, because, for me, today only started a few hours ago. I had trouble sleeping last night, in the house, down in the basement, outside in my truck… I was very, very hot. Uncomfortably so, in the house. Even down in the basement, where it is fairly cool, I felt too warm. Finally I went out to my truck and tried to sleep there.

The coolness was a relief, but I really didn’t get a lot of sleep. Finally (after midnight, sometime), I realized that it’s the first of the month, which means I have a little money, so I went down to the Wawa and got some cigarettes, and an iced coffee (with milk) at the Dunkin’ Donuts.

It’s nice that I can live in the middle of nowhere, but still get coffee and smokes in the middle of the night, when I feel like crap, with no more than a 5 minute drive.

So, I got a few winks in just before daybreak, and woke up shortly after Dawn. I decided to go inside and see about some breakfast. I was a little surprised I hadn’t eaten anything the night before, but I guess I just didn’t feel very hungry. I tried making myself some egg whites, and ate them, but I didn’t feel up to doing anything else. Oddly enough, I felt like sleeping. Of course, I’d basically been up all night. I guess morning is the time when a pseudo-insomniac is finally able to fulfill the need of sleep.

And I didn’t wake up until damm near three in the afternoon.

The good news is that I followed my waking up with a workout! I want that karaoke night at Bennigan’s next month, dammit!

Other than that, like I said above, I don’t have much else to tell you. I ended up making myself a second breakfast after the full half hour workout and my cooldown. Make sure to keep reading, though, because I am going to dissect my workout for you, and there are some GREAT resources for you in Today’s Special. And naturally, there’s Something Beautiful as well, to help keep this blog classy.

Ciao

 

MY WORKOUT

 

So, I promised, above, that I’d break down my workout for you, today, so you can get an idea of how it’s evolved, so far. I’ll point out how recent most of the additions are, from the simple warmup that I was originally doing.

The warmup itself hasn’t changed much. I don’t time it anymore, I just put on the music and start stretching. That takes between five and ten minutes. I will be putting up videos of that, but first I need help with that – I’ll let you know when it happens.

Once the stretching is done, I go to work on the joints, loosening them up (and you funny folk out there, {like me}, I don’t need your help “smokin’ the joints”!), top to bottom. That also takes at least 5 minutes, probably not much more than 10. I would say overall, my total warmup, including the stretches, is taking around 15-20 minutes. Also, I sometimes do this multiple times a day, though the secondary and especially third time doing it are a bit shorter.

From there, I look at the clock. While I’m doing that, I put my hands on the counter and start pumping my legs up and down, to get ready, and relieve my back a little bit. When the clock reaches a 5 or 10 (let’s say 9:15 – that’s the clock reaching a 5, 10:50 – that’s a 10), I figure out what time it will be in a half hour and start my workout by walking around the house 6 times. It’s actually supposed to be 5 times, but I want to add on to it, and I’m doing so slowly, by adding a sixth lap on at the end.

The first set of laps around the house is uneventful. I start at whatever pace I feel like and pick it up by the end of the sixth lap. That’s where I start doing low blocks. Now, originally, I would do a combination of blocks and punches in place. 10 low blocks, 10 punches, 10 high blocks, etc… Then I added on, doing just ten of one type of block, and ten punches/double punches/ triple punches, chops, etc… and then I would walk around the house again, coming back to the counter for more blocks and punches.

It evolved into doing a set of 20 blocks and a set of 20 punches, followed by more laps around the house. Then, I started doing a set of blocks, a set of punches, and a set of blocks, 20 each set, before doing another set of laps around the house.

Eventually, I started working on the laps. I got up to doing 5 laps per set of laps. Then I made the first lap just a walking lap, and on the second I would do walking blocks. The third lap is just walking, and the fourth would be blocks or punches, and I recently change it so that the 4th lap (punches) is actually going up and down the stairs once. That means no punching lap, but I get more out of it. And the 5th lap is just walking again.

Once I get back to the counter, my upper back is usually a little sore, so I put my elbows and forearms on the counter, resting my upper body weight, while pumping my legs. When my upper back is relieved, I change the position so that my hands are on the counter and I keep an eye on the clock. When the minute changes, I start with whatever block I’m on (lower, upper, inner or outer block).

Very recently I’ve made more changes to this section. Once I got up to a set of blocks, set of punches, and a set of blocks, I started doing just one set of blocks, in place, followed by doing those blocks in motion, back and forth across the house. Then I do a block of in place punches (this means the feet don’t move), followed by a block of moving punches (meaning the feet move one step per punch).

This turned into three – 1 set in place blocks, 1 set moving blocks; 1 set in place punches, 1 set moving; 1 set in place blocks, 1 set moving. (This is dull, isn’t it?)

Today, I upped it again, by bumping the number up to four – alternating with blocks first (1 set in place, 1 set moving) then punches, then blocks again, and punches at the end.

What’s interesting is that I’m still pretty ready to stop after 30 minutes, so, I do. I take Buddha, our mascot, out for our cooldown walk, and then sit down on the porch for a bit, relaxing, and sometimes throwing the ball for Buddha (who, for new readers, is our puppy).

Part of the reason I wrote all this down is for me, as well as for you. As for what you get out of it – you get to see what I mean by making small changes. Also, there’s a lot I’ve left out, like what I initially tried with certain additions – instead I’ve just told you what I settled on for each change. An example – I originally decided I’d do two runs up and down the stairs, back to back, at the end of each set of walking laps. That means 5 laps around the house, then up and down the stairs twice. Yeah, right. I can just hear Bill Cosby doing Moses now – riiiiiiiiiight! So, I played with it and tweaked it, during that workout, and over the past few days, to the point where I am satisfied with the change I’ve made.

 

TODAY’S SPECIAL

First two links: We all have those moments, when we had no intention of making complete asses of ourselves, but somehow or another, we managed to push that “ass” button, and we’ve suddenly grown long gray ears and a tail, and are suffering from severe depression, just like Eeyore, the first emo. But it’s not so bad, and if we’re not too self-centered, we can sit back and laugh.

Speaking of depression, one thing that can trigger if, when we suffer, is disappointment. You expected something great, you’d built yourself up for it, and suddenly, everything falls apart. You did your part, but it turns out that wasn’t good enough. It can be enough to turn a person self-destructive, but it doesn’t have to be. Here’s the story of one lady that wouldn’t let it bring her down.

Finally, March 1st is National Peanut Butter day! Nothing like delicious protein! Just make sure you measure it out, my fellow Dammers, if you are hoping to lose weight.

 

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

 

Today’s image comes from Ahmad Budiman and is titled “Children at Play”.